Feeling good.

20 05 2009

Today I talked to my aunt. She is so awesome, I don’t know why we were never close when we were growing up. (I’m 32, shes 44) It’s amazing the kind of connection you can have with someone who understands what you are going through.

I have said before that my daughter was molested by my dad. My aunt was too. Apparently when she was about my daughters age the whole thing happened. No one ever did anything for her. So now this whole thing with my daughter… she is so supportive. I couldn’t do it without her. My family has turned their backs on us. She totally understands that I need to vent, and she gives me a shoulder to cry on and an open ear. She’s so awesome.

So we had a talk today and it feels so good to have someone on my side! Of course my husband is too, but he is there in anger. We both need to talk to someone, but I cant find a support group or anything. I’m still looking. It saddens me that I cant talk to my mom or sister. But it just feels so good to have her. 🙂





Dont judge me on the state of my home.

10 05 2009

Because of the issues that we have been going thru, I have realized that there are more important things then keeping a clean house. Now, to be honest, it is not that before I was a clean freak. In fact, I have never kept up a great looking house. But still, I have been slacking. It just isn’t important. I have day old dishes in the sink as we speak. The kids are playing in the backyard in the little purple pool. (I was out there, but its too warm and the water too cold) The floor is cluttered with toys. Big freaking deal.

The reason I bring this up: The other day, a social worker’s assistant came out to the house the other day to take pictures of the kids. Our social worker would have done it, but this lady lives near us, and it wasn’t really a visit. It was unannounced and my house was not clean, but it wasn’t dirty. I didn’t really worry about it. TP#5 decided earlier that day that he wanted to draw tattoos on his arms. Did I let him do it? You bet. It doesn’t hurt anyone. We weren’t going anywhere. No big deal.  So his pictures with the Dept. of social services show him with markers ALL over him. Anyhow, I got a weird vibe from this lady. Almost like she was looking down on me. But I’m paranoid. So last night out social worker came and took my daughter out to the mall (she is awesome btw. I love her.). Afterwards, we were sitting there talking and I made a comment about this lady. She told me that my vibe was totally right. The lady had made a comment about my house. WHATEVER!! She didn’t even come in the house. She could see thru the front door. In our front room, there are boxes everywhere. We are getting ready to move. So when the lady made the comment, our social worker was all over her ass.  It was awesome. “You mean the boxes? They are in the middle of packing.” DUH! There are things more important!!!

I’m sorry, my 11 yo daughter was molested by her grandfather, and you are worried about boxes? At least I didnt have the kids juggling knives in the front yard like normal. Then what would they think?